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Location: east anglia

Friday, December 09, 2005

oh dear, what a bunch of wasters..

...Here's my anti-group (aka people i want to kill) not really


the guilty parties
  • 1) Chris Martin
  • 2) Morrissey
  • 3) Brian May
  • 4) Fat cunt from New Found Glory
  • 5) Keyboard Knob from Keane
  • 6) Phil "Buster" Collins



None of these people, if we're honest with ourselves, have ever actually added anything worthwile to music. Martin, i can't say much more except you and your band would be considered mediocre if if wasn't for the dire condition of modern music (c.f blur-oasis axis-counter-axis argument). Mr morrissey, oh dear, it's saying something if you are the reason that freddie mercury, james blunt, chad kroeger and robbie williams have been overlooked for this particular diatribe - you are not a poet or if you are then so are we all and we're better ones. Meat is murder yes, but so is your voice (actually it's more like torure). Brian may you're popping up on here a lot reently aren't you, what with being married to anita dobson, did you only marry her because she had hair like yours and it was a massive 25 year commitment ego trip of sorts? that chunky/wobbly guy from new found glory has always riled me, even more than that even bigger bassist chap from bowling for columbine, for this reason alone and, actually, for spurning the band Son of Dork i have included you here. Now, keyboardist from Keane - where to start. Not only are these guys down there with coldplay in terms of song wiriting ability and general artistic craft, they are also the ugliest band on the planet and the band that i find it most difficult to listen to, there is NOTHING for me to latch on to. at least with athlete i can laugh at them for being christians and a poor delirious? rip off band (hhaaha sic). This guy is also called Tim Rice-Oxley. If if wasn't bad enough that he's named after someone who writes and does all that shit with musicals (one of my least favoured art forms), he has an obscene triple-barrelled name which doesn't sit well. I would like to see a fight between coldplay and keane in one corner (southern "handed on a plate" priveleged public school boys) vs oasis and the verve (northern tough nuts with massive chips on their shoulders but also with the best crafted brtish songs since the 60s kinks/who/stones and beatles thing).

finally phil collins. what can i say about this chap. i think that he is an absolute chopper. please direct to a song or record where his immense fame and consequent wealth can be fully justified. i think it's disgusting, i'm going to have to leave it at that

ps did anyone watch that really brilliant john lennon/mark chapman documentary on channel 4 last night, it was great?(R)

12 Comments:

Blogger Jules said...

greg man how can you insult phil "buster" collins?? He is brilliant!! (ho ho) and don't forget his amazing acting in buster...I love Phil Collins!!!!!! (oh dear)

6:13 PM  
Blogger bob said...

Oh my oh my oh my oh my, what a brilliantly offensive post!!!


Brian May is an absolute GOD. No denying that. Listen to the album "a day at the races" - tie your mother down etc. queen intensity...i think your opinion of him has been destroyed by their stadium bohemian rhapsody we will rock you nonsense. He is into astronomy "and stuff".

Phil Collins...Another day in paradise? lovely song. One more night? lovely song. people like him keep middle-of-the-road lovers in check so that your favourite bands don't have to play to 100,000 in a big stadium night after night.

And ATHLETE! they are brilliant! rousing emotional tracks, great melodies.

George:

My mum turned to me the other day (anniversary of lennon's death) and said "the beatles are so boring, you don't like them do you? i don't see what people like about them, so dull, so uninspiring"

Also early chris martin ain't so bad. Better than oasis anyway

love bobert

2:59 AM  
Blogger bob said...

However, I must add that Phil Collins is an absolute 80's wanker

3:00 AM  
Anonymous George said...

oh dear i really have no respect for either of you any more (except for your allegiance with metal rob). May is a twat, if you like athlete i hate you, oasis better than anything coldplay ever did, even shit oasis. one more night is a hideous song and so are your posts. you losers

5:21 AM  
Anonymous Matt said...

Beatles/Lennon - don't care for 'em, but twas a great documentary the other night.

Coldplay - don't hate them, but better than Oasis...how?

Phil Collins. No.

Athlete brilliant? Were you actually joking? Put it this way. They reckon they're Christians. Surely if there was a God, an omnipotent, all-seeing creator of the universe, who instructed his own son to die for our sins, then surely he wouldn't have let the members (sic) of Athlete even be born, let alone create the kind of drap, bland, soulless music (if you can call it that) which they shit all over the airwaves. 'Rousing' and 'emotional'... have you got a job at NME, bob?

5:36 AM  
Blogger bob said...

Oh man, this is bad. vehicles&animals was superb!

george, would you hate me if i told you that i played an old puff daddy album last night - victory. brutal

matt...i'd love a job at NME!


Oh 1 thing-if anyone has this months Rock Sound, check out the "band of the month" - Blood Roses - patrick kay! he has been walking around town telling everyone he meets the lucky bastard. sold out tour, selling merchandise, $$$bastard$$$

5:57 AM  
Anonymous George said...

what's wrong with rap, no i wouldnt hate you rob. i'd rather you listened to stuff that's expanding your range of musical appreciation rather than listening to something like coldplay or athlete which is homogenised corporate bull

6:43 AM  
Anonymous bill(y?) said...

brrrrryyyyyyyyoooooooooom.*

can someone please provide some empirical foundations on which we can hold a scientific discussion of these issues? at the moment it is clear that there is no common metalanguage in which the discourse can take place, as such, there can no agreement about what would actually count as evidence for any of these theses. you have failed to provide the necessary semantical rules that would allow us to accept or reject your arguments for our common language. can somebody shew the fly the way out of the bottle?


ps.

1 - athelete, phil and brian are shite.

2 - coldplay are shite, but that they are overrated and have such adulation from the masses has the effect of magnifying their shiteness(property) to ridiculous levels.

2.1 - that 'riff' is shite.

dooo doo dooo doo doo do doo dooo


2.11 - 'fix you' is identical with cancer.

3 - sorry for alienating anyone who doesnt study philosophy. in my defence, i am sitting in a HORRIBLE, SMELLY, computer cluster in the main halls of residence(meat factory). there are lots of what appear to be 'bastards' sitting all around me and i am trying to write a plan for my dissertation.

4 - fascinating.


*
the noise of completely baseless opinions whirring around the "e-room".

7:00 AM  
Blogger bob said...

but most rap that one might hear in public is musically inept, corporate bull... yet it still often sounds good...and rousing

7:07 AM  
Blogger bob said...

Bill Brings Sanity. And "Clusters"

I contest that all music is good, it just depends on your audiohistory. There are people out there who experience the same joy from Neil Diamond as they do from Tool.

7:12 AM  
Anonymous billy(y?) said...

dave churnley.

bob bob bob bob bob bob bob bob bob bob bob bob .


bob bob bob bob bob bob.

7:20 AM  
Anonymous Giorgio said...

yo yo
i completely agree, as with 95% of debates concerning music/film/book etc, with what bill says here.
Clocks is possibly the worst song ever, was that the riff you were alluding to?
liam and noel have more talent in their nicotine and skag addled amniotic fluid than the members of coldplay, athlete and any other such band out at the moment put together.
yes all music good blah blah, but this is such a boring philosophical project if you take that route
surely there is ome objective quality possessive of music that makes it GOOD or Shit. maybe this is naive but i would like to think that my children and your children will not be listening to coldplay in thirty years time.

7:52 AM  

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